Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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