when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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