Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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