the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
