God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
