Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
