She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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