idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
