Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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