I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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