in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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