can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
ttyl tear gas
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need a beard to bite.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
