She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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