I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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