Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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