Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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