i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
