you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
