My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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