So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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