just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
