her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
