tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
