i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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