i just wanna soil my oats bro
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
