bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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