I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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