oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
