It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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