Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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