She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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