yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
