Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
