We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
