She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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