DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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