Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
