You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
