I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
