Christians are straight up FREAKS
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
