You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Come see our sink grown plant.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
