It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
we should paint friendship bongs
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