I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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