if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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