i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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