wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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