mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
