I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
