i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
this will be a night to untag.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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