Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
