We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
