3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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