cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Everything about him screamed your future.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
