dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
