great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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