If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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