Swine flu is the new snow day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
