i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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