i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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