so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
