You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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