The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ugly people sure do ruin things
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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