That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
