omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
