is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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