so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
